Public(ize)

Eyes expected a desktop, hands, though, rest on a typewriter,

The ink’s spilled to “letters”,

Hieroglyphics don’t seem too hard to read,

Skimming through novels written by someone,

who shares the same name and birthday as me.

                                                                                          As I turn the pages,

                                                                                          the serration grinds down my fingerprints.

                                                                                          Hide an identity

                                                                                          Rename myself, J.R.

My head tips with the words it’s filled with,

Brimming with names I’ve carried.

On travels from mouths to ears, without mine having a say.

Legal action. Samaritan act.

                                                                                          Pride tells me to believe,

                                                                                          Folks meme about the ten “letters” not the two.

                                                                                          Am I the two?

Novels read in pairs, recursive doubles with paired dice,

Gamble on the jumps over hurdles,

Spill out of the page’s margins,

Page gaps, hang onto the indentations.

                                                                                          Forgiveness gives the two the five,

                                                                                          Julia, cut the N, keep the gender,

Would I be the same man -- boy?

Fixate on changing others,

Why should I care,

Care for self or beyond.

Inwards, the eyes turn,

Watch the skull,

Not the heart that beats inside.

Beyond a sense,

To logic only.

I try to hammer the bone,

                  Always stopping, with tremors slackening my grip

                  Do I want to see what would spill out?